10 cose che vogliamo eliminare dal menù dei ristoranti nel 2011
Vediamo così tanti menù in un anno noi di Dissapore, che ormai individuare una tendenza ci viene facile. Eccone alcune che non ritrovare nel 2011 sarebbe meglio. Diteci cosa ne pensate e se abbiamo dimenticato qualcosa.
(1) Paccheri. Vivo ormai il glorioso formato di pasta gragnanese come simbolo della più totale mancanza di personalità, specie nella versione più diffusa, i temutissimi paccheri coi pendolini. Chi si prende la briga di spiegare agli chef che non sono l’ingrediente capace di rialzare lo share di un piatto di pasta? Paccheri qua, paccheri là, paccheri giù, paccheri su, ce li hanno proposti talmente tanto che ormai sono il simbolo del vacuo in cucina.
(2) Citazioni dei fornitori (effetto: tutti i luoghi e tutti i laghi).
Perché elencare tutti i fornitori del vostro ristorante se non ci dite niente di loro? Di per sé, il sottopancia “Fornitori del mio ristorante” non è esattamente irresistibile. Sapere dell’uovo che sto mangiando che proviene dalle galline della Fattoria Settebellezze non illumina la mia mente se non so che la Fattoria Settebellezze fa qualcosa di veramente speciale. Chiedetevi, cari chef, se le vostre uova sono veramente diverse dalle altre, in caso la risposta sia no, non allungate il menù per dirci che le usate.
(3) Cuore morbido.
Capisco che i tortini al cioccolato dal cuore morbido siano tra quelli che la gggente ha voglia di mangiare più degli altri, ma per favore, diamoci un taglio. Il cuore morbido sta al menù come un’insignificante prima serata alla televisione, tortini e flan sono serissimi candidati al ruolo di nuovi filetti al pepe verde / tagliate con rucola e scaglie di grana / spaghetti gamberi e zucchine, richiesti quanto volete ma irrimediabilmente demodé.
(4) Dulce de leche.
Per i pochi che non lo sanno, e che evidentemente nell’ultimo anno son vissuti in un pianeta diverso, il dulce du leche è un dolce a base di latte dal sapore avvicinabile alle caramelle mou che esiste anche in versione spalmabile, tipo Nutella. Ora, se un piatto ha avuto in dotazione un tasso di dolcezza più spendibile di altri mi sembra sensato puntare su quello, ma bastavano metà delle ennemila cuochette che hanno somministrato il dolce sudamericano nei loro foodblog. Bang! L’effetto è stata l’apparizione del dulce du leche nei menù dei ristoranti. Ora, prima che la tendenza dilaghi, chiediamoci una cosa: vogliamo veramente chiudere le nostre sudate cene gourmet con una caramella mou?
(5) Menù lunghi come litanie.
Quando ci troviamo di fronte a un menù che elenca Appetizer, Antipasti, Crudi, Salumi, Paste, Secondi, Contorni e un’altra mezza dozzina di sezioni, non siamo solo confusi, siamo annoiati. Non si va al ristorante per tenere allenato il cervello con complicati esercizi di memoria: il lavoro dei ristoratori è di farli per noi. Evitate i pistolotti, non diteci perfino dove lo chef compra le scapre. Il menù dev’essere semplice, non è un noir con le tagliatelle di farro e il petto di faraona nel ruolo di protagonisti.
(6) Detonnizate i vostri menù.
Capisco che rinunciare alla percentuale di incasso assicurata dalla tartara sia mentalmente faticoso, ma alla lunga i clienti del vostro ristorante apprezzeranno. Li solleverete dall’imbarazzo di ordinare il tonno rosso per dire, in via di definitiva estinzione a causa della pesca selvaggia, e oggetto di ignobili contraffazioni tipo l’uso del monossido di carbonio per accentuarne il colore.
(7) Degamberizzateli anche.
Alla piastra, al vapore, al raggio laser, non c’è verso di schivarli. Buoni son buoni, e il gambero aggiusta tutto così a casa puoi spacciarti per il miglior cuoco dilettante d’Italia. Però voi, Maestri: fateci un regalo per l’anno undici che arriva (cosa segnalata da Stefano Caffarri).
(8) Articoli e aggettivi possessivi.
Fronteggiamo impavidi la barbarie linguistica del menù e per l’anno 2011 ripromettiamoci solennemente di bonificarli da ogni parvenza di articolo e aggettivo possessivo (“la tagliata di angus con la sua riduzione…”). E visto che ci siamo anche i diminutiti (“Piccatina”), i vezzeggiativi e i puntini di sospensione.
(9) Antipastini, piattini amouse-bouche.
Veder sfilare una miriade di amouse bouche che magari non ci piacciono nemmeno, e poi trovare nei piatti ordinati microporzioni che non fanno nemmeno intuire il sapore, ci ha ufficialmente stancato. Sia messo a verbale.
(10) Stare entro Sforare i 100 euro.
Fatevi contagiare dalla Bistronomia, applicate vantaggiose tariffe orarie come fa Vissani, qualsiasi cosa ma per favore, ristoratori: contenete il prezzo del menù nelle 2 cifre. La crisi morde e se devo andare sopra i 100 € voglio sentirmi veramente amato ma attualmente, di chef disposti alle effusioni se ne vedono pochi (cit. Stefano Caffarri)
Massimo Bernardi da dissapore.com
10 cose che vogliamo eliminare dal menù dei ristoranti nel 2011
Vediamo così tanti menù in un anno noi di Dissapore, che ormai individuare una tendenza ci viene facile. Eccone alcune che non ritrovare nel 2011 sarebbe meglio. Diteci cosa ne pensate e se abbiamo dimenticato qualcosa.
(1) Paccheri. Vivo ormai il glorioso formato di pasta gragnanese come simbolo della più totale mancanza di personalità, specie nella versione più diffusa, i temutissimi paccheri coi pendolini. Chi si prende la briga di spiegare agli chef che non sono l’ingrediente capace di rialzare lo share di un piatto di pasta? Paccheri qua, paccheri là, paccheri giù, paccheri su, ce li hanno proposti talmente tanto che ormai sono il simbolo del vacuo in cucina.
(2) Citazioni dei fornitori (effetto: tutti i luoghi e tutti i laghi).
Perché elencare tutti i fornitori del vostro ristorante se non ci dite niente di loro? Di per sé, il sottopancia “Fornitori del mio ristorante” non è esattamente irresistibile. Sapere dell’uovo che sto mangiando che proviene dalle galline della Fattoria Settebellezze non illumina la mia mente se non so che la Fattoria Settebellezze fa qualcosa di veramente speciale. Chiedetevi, cari chef, se le vostre uova sono veramente diverse dalle altre, in caso la risposta sia no, non allungate il menù per dirci che le usate.
(3) Cuore morbido.
Capisco che i tortini al cioccolato dal cuore morbido siano tra quelli che la gggente ha voglia di mangiare più degli altri, ma per favore, diamoci un taglio. Il cuore morbido sta al menù come un’insignificante prima serata alla televisione, tortini e flan sono serissimi candidati al ruolo di nuovi filetti al pepe verde / tagliate con rucola e scaglie di grana / spaghetti gamberi e zucchine, richiesti quanto volete ma irrimediabilmente demodé.
(4) Dulce de leche.
Per i pochi che non lo sanno, e che evidentemente nell’ultimo anno son vissuti in un pianeta diverso, il dulce du leche è un dolce a base di latte dal sapore avvicinabile alle caramelle mou che esiste anche in versione spalmabile, tipo Nutella. Ora, se un piatto ha avuto in dotazione un tasso di dolcezza più spendibile di altri mi sembra sensato puntare su quello, ma bastavano metà delle ennemila cuochette che hanno somministrato il dolce sudamericano nei loro foodblog. Bang! L’effetto è stata l’apparizione del dulce du leche nei menù dei ristoranti. Ora, prima che la tendenza dilaghi, chiediamoci una cosa: vogliamo veramente chiudere le nostre sudate cene gourmet con una caramella mou?
(5) Menù lunghi come litanie.
Quando ci troviamo di fronte a un menù che elenca Appetizer, Antipasti, Crudi, Salumi, Paste, Secondi, Contorni e un’altra mezza dozzina di sezioni, non siamo solo confusi, siamo annoiati. Non si va al ristorante per tenere allenato il cervello con complicati esercizi di memoria: il lavoro dei ristoratori è di farli per noi. Evitate i pistolotti, non diteci perfino dove lo chef compra le scapre. Il menù dev’essere semplice, non è un noir con le tagliatelle di farro e il petto di faraona nel ruolo di protagonisti.
(6) Detonnizate i vostri menù.
Capisco che rinunciare alla percentuale di incasso assicurata dalla tartara sia mentalmente faticoso, ma alla lunga i clienti del vostro ristorante apprezzeranno. Li solleverete dall’imbarazzo di ordinare il tonno rosso per dire, in via di definitiva estinzione a causa della pesca selvaggia, e oggetto di ignobili contraffazioni tipo l’uso del monossido di carbonio per accentuarne il colore.
(7) Degamberizzateli anche.
Alla piastra, al vapore, al raggio laser, non c’è verso di schivarli. Buoni son buoni, e il gambero aggiusta tutto così a casa puoi spacciarti per il miglior cuoco dilettante d’Italia. Però voi, Maestri: fateci un regalo per l’anno undici che arriva (cosa segnalata da Stefano Caffarri).
(8) Articoli e aggettivi possessivi.
Fronteggiamo impavidi la barbarie linguistica del menù e per l’anno 2011 ripromettiamoci solennemente di bonificarli da ogni parvenza di articolo e aggettivo possessivo (“la tagliata di angus con la sua riduzione…”). E visto che ci siamo anche i diminutiti (“Piccatina”), i vezzeggiativi e i puntini di sospensione.
(9) Antipastini, piattini amouse-bouche.
Veder sfilare una miriade di amouse bouche che magari non ci piacciono nemmeno, e poi trovare nei piatti ordinati microporzioni che non fanno nemmeno intuire il sapore, ci ha ufficialmente stancato. Sia messo a verbale.
(10) Stare entro Sforare i 100 euro.
Fatevi contagiare dalla Bistronomia, applicate vantaggiose tariffe orarie come fa Vissani, qualsiasi cosa ma per favore, ristoratori: contenete il prezzo del menù nelle 2 cifre. La crisi morde e se devo andare sopra i 100 € voglio sentirmi veramente amato ma attualmente, di chef disposti alle effusioni se ne vedono pochi (cit. Stefano Caffarri)
Massimo Bernardi da dissapore.com
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on Saturday, February 5th, 2011 at 1:53 pm and is filed under principale.
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10 cose che vogliamo eliminare dal menù dei ristoranti nel 2011
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